"No Wedding, No Womb" Nope, Won't Work

A couple of days ago, by accident, I stumbled across a nifty little movement called "No Wedding, No Womb" or NWNW for short. I was quite intrigued by this odd, yet catchy catchphrase & looked it up to see what all the hullabaloo was about. (Yes, I did just say hullabaloo) What it is, in fact, is a movement started by Christelyn D. Karazin, whose primary purpose, according to the website, is as follows:


"NWNW calls for both MEN and WOMEN to put the needs of children first, and advocates that couples abstain from having children until they are emotionally, physically and financially able to care for them."


Now, on the surface, & as a Christian, this is a noble, Biblically rooted cause. Albeit an outdated one; however, that does not lessen this movement's meaning. Again I say, on the surface. Rarely do I take things at face value. Unfortunately even a concept as noble as this is tragically & mortally flawed. 


You don't have to penetrate too deeply into this movement to be overwhelmed by the oh-so-familiar stench of racism that permeates the followers & supporters of it, starting with its leader. On her own FAQ site, she says:

• Are you bashing black men?

Lord, I’m trying not to.  Deadbeat dads come in all melanin spectrums.  But as a black woman, my focus for NWNW naturally hones in on the black community first. No other American culture has an astronomical 72% out-of-wedlock birth rate.  Only males have the ability to fertilize an egg and create a baby and never be heard from again.  Women hold that embryo, who becomes a baby, who becomes a child, who becomes an adult.  Mothers can not physically be both mother and father, otherwise God would have created us in the likeness of hermaphroditic amebas.

She's trying not to. But her whole statement is tragically flawed & her followers don't hold to that same overall frame of thinking. While she acknowledges that deadbeat dads come in all colors, she is basically making the connotation that since the Black community has a 72% out of wedlock birth rate, that Black fathers are the most likely to abandon their children. That is not the case. This percentage comparison NWNW acknowledges, but does not take into consideration, couples who are together but are not married or women who choose to be single mothers (fertilized by donor sperm, etc). The OOW birthrate percentage of the target audience of NWNW is not truly known. The 72% keeps getting forced down our throats when it's not an accurate number. 

The obvious elitist attitude which of most of the main proponents of this movement is extremely poignant. On her blog, ggspirit highlighted some of the comments that were made towards her when she criticized the movement a few days ago:

• “Well, I’ll just add my 42 cents here. I am absolutely TIRED of waiting for a black man to find and appreciate me. I’m a geek, okay. I don’t club or run around dropping it like it’s hot. I’m educated, a multi-published award winning author, a business owner, and to be honest, I don’t even know where to go to find a black man that is a gentleman and financially stable.”

• “Why is that every other culture in this country seems to understand what standards are but somehow as black people we astoundingly dumbfounded by the concept. It means a loving, stable, home but unless you’ve actually seen one and lived in one, I guess you wouldn’t know what it was.”

• “Octomom. Need I say more? Yes, I know she’s not black. But she’s made many choices that young black women make and look where she’s now.”

• “I believe the slogan has listed the standard clearly. Do not have babies until you are married and yes it is attainable for every other race of people and is also expected. Black people are the only ones who have a problem with this.”

And these comments were brought to you by the middle class, educated negroes aka the bitter black female "we hate black men" club that shout Hallelujah to Christelyn every time she regurgitates more of this hate speak. 

I have asked this question several times, but I will go ahead & elaborate here: WHY IS IT THAT THE BLACK COMMUNITY LOVES TO AIR ITS DIRTY LAUNDRY & PUBLICLY RIDICULE THEMSELVES? Just because YOU yourself as a Black woman did not have a baby at 16, do you really think that because your baby is mixed or because you drive a Lexus that people don't draw conclusions about you? Do you really think that as happy as you claim to be for having freed yourself from waiting for Mr. Black Right Man that people are sitting there saying Wow that girl made it? In addition, do you think adding a bit of cream to your coffee has made you taste any sweeter? No. And just because I found an "ain't shit" Black man to marry & love me & take care of our child(ren) doesn't mean the only reason he did it was because I made him marry me. He valued me for ME & we've been married for almost 6 years, through tragedy & triumph. 

Instead of pointing fingers, these women who "made it out" need to reach their hands back. Those who say that they have a right to be condescending because they pay taxes & they're tired of their money going to Welfare recipients who are mostly young Black hoodrat section 8 single mothers: that's the beauty of taxes...you don't get to pick & choose where it goes. I know all you Aunt Ruckuses would rather give it to the Becky Sues on Welfare (oh wait that's right, White girls apparently are never on Welfare, if we see things your way), your money is going to go wherever the government says it is. And in this Recession, you better be glad you can afford the computer you're typing your BS on. 

And most Black single mothers are NOT ignorant hoodrats as this movement would assume. Most of BSMs that I know have college degrees, graduate degrees even & are intensely spiritual people who got caught up and took responsibility for their actions. They didn't run out and get an abortion or pop a pill..they womaned up & some did it COMPLETELY on their own with NO help from anyone nor do they ask for a dime now either. Whatever happened to letting God do his job & seeing children as a blessing? I guess as long as you don't have to pay for them, right?

This, to me, is not a race issue. If it were, then Christelyn would need to jump quick at the Hispanics, since their OOW birthrate is the highest of all races. (see: http://www.theatlantic.com/culture/archive/2009/02/the-math-on-black-out-of-wedlock-births/6738/) This is a generation issue. Most of the men in my generation & younger do not know the moral & religious responsibilities that come with "being a man" & they are taught to run away from their responsibilities or to manipulate a woman into being the responsible party. They also attribute being a "man" with physical strength or violence. We need to educate our young men as to the right way of being a man, even if that takes positive male role models going back to their respective communities and passing down mentorship through the ranks so that positive messages are given. 

In addition, Christelyn and her followers need to let go of this "Abstinence Only" bullshit. I'm sorry. I understand that its Biblical & I would never spit in God's face as to say that His law is stupid; what I will say is that in this day and age, to not properly educate our youth on condom usage & birth control is irresponsible on the part of parents. In addition, instead of subliminally attacking OOW or single mothers as NWNW loves to do, rallying for legislative change or banding together to start a nonprofit that would help these mothers become self-sufficient would be a more positive, proactive way to stop the generational cycle from repeating itself. Just saying over and over that there is a problem doesn't fix it. And taking a noble cause & perverting it with your own racial agenda is, to say the least, wrong. 

And using marriage as a cure-all answer to the problem is also not plausible. Making the OOW rate go down by increasing the rate of broken homes is not what I'd call a solution. Marriage is a binding contract entered into by two people just like procreating should be. And marrying "decent" Black men as a directive is just great, sunshine...but everyone's definition of "decent" is different. You cannot make a standard...If the man does not fit x physical requirements & is not making above x financial requirements he is not fit & must be marked as "Ain't Shit". C'Mon Son. You can't get outta here with that. You 

"No Wedding, No Womb" has enough Tombied (Zombied) members in order to cause an annoyance to real females like me & ggspirit. I won't give it too much more attention on my blog; however, this is not to say that I don't consider this movement and others like it as disturbing. The Black community has been oppressed long enough; just because we have an oppressed mentality does not then mean we have to in turn oppress ourselves. If the Black community were currently the Titanic, sinking to its watery grave, and these were the lifesavers...ugh let me drown. I can't help but think that I'm now adding to the spectacle of self-criticism, but if NO one stands up for what is RIGHT & this is seen as the norm from impressionable minds, then I have failed. I wouldn't want my daughter thinking the only way she becomes a valuable commodity is if a MAN marries her. I dare Christelyn Karazin & her supporters to read the facts & not distort them & instead of wasting so much time criticizing, they put down their cups of tea, get off their laptops & DO something. Lend & hand...BE the change they so desperately want to see...

 In the meantime, I feel like Milla Jovovich in Resident Evil, *sigh*, where's my pump action shotgun?